back to work at the fantasy factory
Yeah, but I'm missing the U-boat. The one mind-altering thought-chemical that always inspired me: my 70s dreams; my chemical philosophy; my Arn biology; my Trinities. Now, bereft of my real atomic submarines, my writing is scattered, erratic, as this, that, or the other thing is added to the complex chemical soup that has existed in my brain for the last 30 years.
Yeah, I know, there's some idiot Scientologist out there, reading this stuff because it "exposes abuses in psychiatry," but you want to know my opinion? Fuck Scientology! (& that also goes for the Scooby Club.)
Now, with Trinities about to be reinvented as a triune novel, with Ted hopefully writing at his best, not his worth, I felt -- or at least felt yesterday -- that my writing had turned extremely poor. This may have simply been due to the rough-draft looking material in Ch.12 of Noc-Lar. The dialog especially worked poorly, mainly because of its stilted nature, but I also had problems integrating this draft with the previous ones. I needed to have kept notes on the characters, the castle guards, & some elements of the plotline.
I believe this occurred in part because of the way I've been multi-tasking, & also all the time I spent last week exacerbating VADIS & not really doing any writing.
This may be due, at least in part, to the med changes that I'm undergoing. I have one 1/2-pill left of Seroquel, for tonite, then will be off it -- & I can feel the antipsychotic properties wearing off; sleep's about the same (am now on Ambien). I've been having problems with my temper & dealing with Trish. Sometimes, I become so annoyed by her child-like personality that I want to scream at her; a couple times, I have raised my voice -- in short, I've turned into Cranky Bear. (Pookie Bear is the bestest bear.) I'm sure it's a brain state, though I'm not certain whether it'll require a new antipsychotic or a higher dose of an existing one.
The printer yet remains a source of anxiety for me. Mardy burned my driver, but I haven't yet tried to install it. I really wish the repairman at Office Equipment hadn't suggested reinstalling the software. It might have made more sense just to look for a free download.
Yeah, I know, there's some idiot Scientologist out there, reading this stuff because it "exposes abuses in psychiatry," but you want to know my opinion? Fuck Scientology! (& that also goes for the Scooby Club.)
Now, with Trinities about to be reinvented as a triune novel, with Ted hopefully writing at his best, not his worth, I felt -- or at least felt yesterday -- that my writing had turned extremely poor. This may have simply been due to the rough-draft looking material in Ch.12 of Noc-Lar. The dialog especially worked poorly, mainly because of its stilted nature, but I also had problems integrating this draft with the previous ones. I needed to have kept notes on the characters, the castle guards, & some elements of the plotline.
I believe this occurred in part because of the way I've been multi-tasking, & also all the time I spent last week exacerbating VADIS & not really doing any writing.
This may be due, at least in part, to the med changes that I'm undergoing. I have one 1/2-pill left of Seroquel, for tonite, then will be off it -- & I can feel the antipsychotic properties wearing off; sleep's about the same (am now on Ambien). I've been having problems with my temper & dealing with Trish. Sometimes, I become so annoyed by her child-like personality that I want to scream at her; a couple times, I have raised my voice -- in short, I've turned into Cranky Bear. (Pookie Bear is the bestest bear.) I'm sure it's a brain state, though I'm not certain whether it'll require a new antipsychotic or a higher dose of an existing one.
The printer yet remains a source of anxiety for me. Mardy burned my driver, but I haven't yet tried to install it. I really wish the repairman at Office Equipment hadn't suggested reinstalling the software. It might have made more sense just to look for a free download.
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